


You belong with me

by Lollea



Category: Anne of Green Gables (TV 1985) & Related Fandoms, Anne of Green Gables - L. M. Montgomery, Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Annie and Gilby are besties, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Pining, Shirbert, Shirbert Song Project 2020
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:47:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25074103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lollea/pseuds/Lollea
Summary: In the modern universe, Anne decided to ignore the Avonlea girls' rules and befriended Gilbert Blythe. Only problem is, two and a half years later, she found herself head over heels for her best friend and he happens to have a girlfriend..
Relationships: Gilbert Blythe & Anne Shirley, Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley, Gilbert Blythe/Winifred Rose
Comments: 64
Kudos: 201
Collections: Shirbert Song Project 2020





	1. Chapter one

“Babe, you know I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry” Gilbert Blythe said and took a deep breath, holding his phone against his ear with one hand and gripping the steering wheel in front of him with the other. The unexpected fight, about Gilbert cancelling their plans last minute to celebrate Ka’kwet’s fifthteenth birthday, had been going for five minutes at that point. The redhead sitting in the passenger seat, next to him, had gotten bored of scrolling through instagram trying not to eavesdrop on the phone call her best friend was having with his girlfriend. Anne Shirley, or Anne Shirley-Cuthbert as her month old adoption papers now said, was many things but patient was, however, not one of them. 

“Don’t say that, of course I love you” Gilbert continued to speak through the phone, leaning his head back against the headstand and looking at the diner they had parked in front of, where they were supposed to meet. He was disturbed by two fingers poking his shoulder. 

“I’ll just go inside” his friend whispered to him and gave an empathetic smile before leaving the car and closing the door behind her a little harsher than necessary. 

Anne was used to Gilbert fighting with his girlfriend, Winifred Rose, by now. The two of them had been together for six months, since early summer, and had spent most of it fighting with each other. Anne thought it was weird that they were even together, not that she would ever tell Gilbert that. She thought of him as down to earth and chill, and knew that the two most important things to him were his family and his education. Winifred, however, was an upcoming influencer, a year older than Gilbert, Anne and most of their friends. She was very nice and polite but had a tendency to act in an overly dramatic way, like she did right now. And she was pretty too. The only thing Winifred and Gilbert had in common was their advanced math skills, which made sense since they had met at a charity that organised tutoring for less fortunate children and the two of them had volunteered. 

The other reason Anne didn’t like the two of them together was that she had been secretly in love with Gilbert for the past year. She thought he had been into her too, they had hung out by themselves more often and were doing more non school related activities during the spring season. Anne even thought that he had been flirting with her on numerous occasions. Then, out of nowhere, Gilbert started dating the genius, beautiful head cheerleader. When school started in early fall, Anne, Gilbert and Moody went to the school games to look at her instead of supporting Jerry and Charlie, who were on the team (in reality, warming the bench), as they usually did. 

Despite that, Anne was not jealous of Winifred. She had been nothing but kind to Anne and therefore there was no reason for Anne not to like her. It wasn’t Winifred’s fault that Gilbert had chosen her over Anne, so Anne was not jealous. Absolutely not. If anything, Anne was jealous over the fact that Winnie not only was good at geometry, but that she also enjoyed it. And maybe Anne was a little bit envious at Winifreds beautiful golden blond hair and silky skin. But she was not jealous over the fact that Winifred got to love Gilbert while she didn’t. Absolutely not. 

* * *

Anne walked into the diner and sat down next to Moody at their regular six person booth. The early December snow was already melting off the soles of her shoes and her cheeks were red from the 30 second walk between the carpark and the entrance. 

“Where’s Blythe? Thought you guys were coming together” Charlie said, sitting opposite her, without looking up from his phone. 

“He’s on the phone with the wife, it will probably be a while. We should order for him on the off chance that Jerry shows up before him” Anne answered, making Moody laugh at the inside joke of them referring to Winifred as Gilbert’s wife because of how attached they were to each other. Ka’kwet, who was sitting next to Charlie, nodded and looked sympathetically towards Anne, being the only one in their friend group who knew how Anne truly felt about Gilbert. 

“Happy Birthday, nerd!” Jerry said as he walked up to their table, settling next to Anne and leaning over to do one of his and Ka’kwet’s weird handshakes with the birthday girl. 

“Thanks, Baynard” the fifteen year old smiled and waved the waiter over. 

“Let’s order, I’m starving” Charlie said, looking through the menu one last time before the waiter came, as if he didn’t order the same thing every time he was there (which was at least once a week). 

Anne had been friends with the guys, Gilbert, Jerry, Moody and Charlie, since she came to Avonlea in the beginning of freshman year. Although she and Diana had hit it off the first time they met, before Anne started school, the other girls in their class hadn’t been as nice to her. After she had accidentally walked to her lesson with the famous Gilbert Blythe and gotten told that she wasn’t allowed to talk to or look at him since Ruby had “dibs”, she decided to not care and accept his apple when he approached her during lunch her first day. 

Anne had found a friend who actually wanted to hang out with her and although he was annoying, she wasn’t going to turn that down. So, instead of following the strict (and slightly irrational) rules to be in Diana’s friend group, she had joined Gilbert’s. The three other boys accepted her quickly, letting go of the prejudice of “asylum and foster cooties” and liked how weird she was. What wasn’t forgotten, was the fact that Gilbert had called Anne ‘cute’ when talking to his friends about her after they walked to that class together. In fact, that had been a running joke between the guys and Anne since the beginning of their high school days and now they were almost mid way through their junior year. 

Having always been a tomboy, even before she moved in with the Cuthberts two and a half years ago, hanging out with only boys wasn’t strange for Anne. Moody and Charlie were ridiculous, just like Diana said when she introduced them, but they were also kind and funny. Jerry worked on the Cuthbert farm four days a week and was probably the nicest person Anne knew, despite his tendency to tease everyone and everything. Gilbert was just as studious as Anne and the two competed in every subject, when they weren’t debating different points in class they were most likely studying together. Despite Anne not wanting to be friends with the girls freshman year and they not wanting anything to do with her when she began hanging out with Gilbert, they were now civil towards each other and could even have friendly conversations every once in a while. Anne and Diana were bosom friends, they talked about anything and everything with each other and had stayed close even though they barely spoke to each other during school hours. 

Ka’kwet joined their friend group earlier this year, much to Anne’s delight. She was almost two year younger than them, they being sixteen (soon going on seventeen) and she turning fifteen, but had skipped a couple grades and ended up in their home room. She was the most poetic soul Anne had ever met, she was skilled in languages and spoke multiple fluently and she was the only person in their class to even be close to where Anne and Gilbert were academically. They were a weird group, very different from each other, but Anne loved it.

* * *

Gilbert arrived at the table five minutes after they had ordered for him and apologised for being late before wishing Ka’kwet a happy birthday and sat down. 

“How’s the wife?” She asked him, sipping on her coke. Despite that Ka’kwet had only known the other five people at the table for a couple of months they quickly got close. The age difference was visible, she wasn’t allowed to go to the parties they went to and she still wasn’t used to her friends having cars, but didn’t affect her as much as she thought when she started their class. 

“She says happy birthday” Gilbert smiled and looked over to Anne, hoping she hadn’t told the others about the fight. 

“Well, you were even later than me, so we ordered for you” Jerry informed, happy that he wasn’t the one delaying the plans for the evening, for once. 

“Thank you, and I am once again sorry for being late” Gilbert said and Anne could tell that the fight had upset him. 

They then gave the newest member in the group her birthday present from all of them, a hand made sweater from an indigenous owned clothing company on PEI (Anne’s idea) and a book about extinct languages in the world (surprisingly, Jerry’s idea). Ka’kwet appreciated both of her gifts, and felt grateful that her new friends not only had made time to have a celebratory dinner with her but also spent time and money to get her the perfect presents. 

The dinner was relatively uneventful, Moody and Jerry gushed about how pretty Diana looked in her most recent Instagram story while Charlie talked about how nervous he was about their huge test next week. They all sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to Ka’kwet when the waiter came with their desserts and laughed at Anne’s comment about how “they grow up so fast”. 

* * *

Anne was going through the fridge in the Blythe kitchen, throwing out everything that had expired. She and Gilbert had gone straight to his place after dinner, letting Ka’kwet off at her home after declining the other guys’ invitation to the party Josie Pye was throwing to instead spend some time with John Blythe. 

Even though Anne hadn’t spent her childhood playing hide and seek in John’s garden, worked on his orchard during the high season or had been there when he got his cancer diagnosis, like most of her friends, she felt a special connection to her best friend’s father. They met a week after Anne started Avonlea high school, she had been paired up with Gilbert for a history assignment and although she had spent time with him during school, she still felt that they weren’t friends yet. Moody and Charlie hadn’t quite accepted her fully at that point and she was sure Jerry was only nice to her because he worked for her foster dad. Anne could tell that Gilbert was doing his best to make her feel accepted, but she wasn’t stupid and knew to be careful when a boy she barely knew invited her to his house. She had experienced enough in her then, 14 year old life to know that she needed to be on the lookout for potential red flags. 

Anne hadn’t expected to be greeted by a man in his early 20s, who looked nothing like the boy she came to see, when she knocked on the door that day, two and a half years ago. “You must be Anne Shirley” he said nicely and let her in. 

Gilbert later explained that Sebastian, or Bash as she was told to call him, was a family friend whose parents had passed away when he was an early teenager and Gilbert was a baby. Gilbert’s dad had taken him in and Gilbert didn’t know any different, they had been raised as brothers. 

Fourteen year old Gilbert had set up the kitchen table as their study spot for the afternoon, and it worked fine for the first 20 minutes. They managed to get work done and Gilbert could feel Anne letting down her defences slightly. Then, his dad came into the room to make himself a cup of tea. Anne hadn’t pictured what Gilbert’s dad would look like before she went over to their house that first time, but what she saw was definitely not what she thought he would look like. Now she knew that he had just gone through his first chemo treatment, but at the time she didn’t know he was sick and was therefore surprised by the older man’s appearance whose hair was thinning out and whose body looked like it was about to give in. 

Anne politely said hello to him and answered some superficial questions about her background and how she was fostered by the Cuthberts. What was supposed to be a five minute conversation for Gilbert’s dad to get to know the girl his son had been gushing about for the past week ended with both Bash and John (who had refused to be called mr. Blythe) sitting with Anne and Gilbert for hours. She had been preparing excuses to leave in case Gilbert had said something to give her a reason to feel like she needed to, she had not prepared to be asked about her history, the state of the Cuthbert farm or how Marilla was doing. At least it was a pleasant turn of events, Anne had thought. She learnt that John knew her foster mum and dad in school and he was very interested in knowing how they were doing. After talking for hours, Anne politely told them she had to be home for dinner and thanked them for their hospitality. 

“Do you mind if I walk you home?” Gilbert asked, standing up to gather all of their school stuff from the table, that had barely been used. 

Anne looked unsure, “I don’t think that’s such a good idea” she looked down at her intertwined hands “besides, the walk isn’t long, I’ll be fine”. 

Gilbert was confused, his dad had told him girls like it when guys were gentlemen and offered things like that. After knowing Anne for a week he knew that she wouldn’t swoon or anything, but he at least thought she would accept and appreciate the gesture. 

Bash could see the fear in Anne’s eyes and put the puzzle pieces together to understand why she said what she did. “Blythe, why don’t you just walk her to our front door? Okay?”

“Yeah, of course” Gilbert answered, he forgot that his father and brother were watching. He gestured for Anne to follow him and she did, thanking her hosts again. 

They walked in silence and stood awkwardly next to each other as Anne tied her shoes. “You have a really nice family” she said while putting on her jacket. 

“Thanks, I probably should have warned you about how unorthodox it is” he laughed. 

“Trust me, mine is worse. I have two dead parents, grew up in a bunch of group and foster homes and am currently staying with a brother and a sister as fosterparents” 

“You’re right, that is more complicated. I just have to explain that my dad has cancer and that my brother is black.” Gilbert said, flashing his dimples. 

“On the positive side, I can’t imagine you getting a lot of follow up questions after that.” Anne laughed.

“You’re right, most people shut up after that.”

“Well, i should go.” Anne bit her lower lip. “But since we didn’t get a lot of work done today we should meet up some other time to finish it.”

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

“I was thinking we could go to the library? I know it’s normal for people to take turns hosting but I just moved in and I’m not comfortable with asking the Cuthberts if I’m allowed to have anyone over yet, I’m not sure they like me and I just don’t want to be thrown out again. But I get an allowance so I would totally buy us snacks for studying in the library, if you're worried about that ... or-” Anne rambled, being cut off by Gilbert's hand on her arm. She flinched and instantly became quiet, scaring Gilbert. 

“Shit, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that” he said nervously. “The library is fine, you could even come here again if you’d like. My family seems to like you.”

Anne smiled, “I like them too. We can talk about the details of it in school?”

“Yeah, of course” Gilbert scratched his neck. “I’m sorry, but the Cuthberts are nice to you, right?” he asked, afraid of overstepping but being alarmed by her ramble. He had known the Cuthberts for years and couldn’t picture them hurting anyone intentionally, but he felt like he needed to make sure. 

“What? Yeah, they don’t hit me or anything like that and they are very generous, allowing me to eat as much as I want. I just don’t want to ask for too much too fast” Anne explained, before quickly thanking him, saying goodbye and leaving. Gilbert stood there shocked.  _ Had she been hit before? And had she been left hungry? _

He returned to the kitchen to talk to his father and brother about it, close as they were. John explained that it’s not unusual for children in the foster care system to be treated poorly and Bash told him that something had probably happened to Anne and that that was the reason why she declined his suggestion of walking her home. Gilbert got a deeper understanding towards Anne after that and became a little protective over her, not wanting her to be hurt the same way she had been. Anne hated it, but had opened up to him about her past lives after knowing him for a year.

The incident led to Anne spending more time at the Blythe household and in turn that led to her getting to know Bash and John better than most of her friends, who only had superficial conversations with them. 

What had started as Gilbert's “That cute girl I was talking about is coming over to study, please don’t embarrass me” had developed into a relationship where Anne could go hang out with his family without Gilbert being home, especially since his dad got worse and Bash had a baby on the way with his wife Mary. That was what was happening tonight. Gil and Anne were at his home, Gilbert in his father's room talking to him about his day like he did every evening and Anne in their kitchen making plum puffs as a surprise after cleaning out their fridge. Gilbert was going to see Winifred later that night so Anne was planning on staying with John, reading him the news and hearing stories about her (now adoptive) parents from when they were all young. 

“How are the baked goods coming along? Please don’t burn down my kitchen, Shirley” Gilbert said suddenly, looking at her from the doorframe between the hall and kitchen. 

“You scared me! And you’re the only one capable of something that stupid.” she teased back. Anne often baked for the Blythes and Lacroixs, John liked plum puffs because they reminded him of Marilla and Mary had a pregnancy craving for them. By baking them relatively often in Gilbert’s kitchen, she felt like she was contributing to their well being in some form, which she felt was the least she could do after how well they treated her when she was new in town. 

“Well now that I am deeply offended it will be easy to tell you, I’m off” Gilbert chuckled.

“Tell the wife I say hello!”

“Stop doing that” the smile on his face disappeared after hearing that. Gilbert was aware of his friends’ joke and hated it ever since Moody said it the first time, a month after he and Winifred had started dating. 

“But it's funny!” Anne pouted. 

“It’s really not. Besides, I think you would like her if you spent some more time with her. She wants to hang out with you more, you know.”

“I find that extremely hard to believe. I’m below her, Gil.” 

“Don’t be stupid” he took one of the puffs that were in the chilling process, burning his fingers slightly “why don’t you come with me tonight?”

“I am not doing that, I have plans to read a newspaper to this older man, you see” she joked. She wasn’t going to tell him that she didn’t want to get to know the girlfriend of the guy she is madly in love with. 

“Come on, I thought one of the pros of having a female best friend was that she would be friends with your girlfriend.”

“I’ve told you, you can’t have different standards for me and Charlie. If your girlfriend wants to get to know your friends she can hang out with all of us at the diner, or at school during lunch.”

“You know I love the guys, but they’re so … them. And you’re you.” 

“Yes, Gilbert, that is how people work..”

“You know what I mean, Shirley. You and I are closer than we are with the guys, we can have actual conversations about real things and I want you to be closer to my girlfriend.” Gilbert sighed loudly.

* * *

The first time Anne and Winnie met was awkward, it was at a stupid, according to Anne, high school party that Moody had dragged his friends to so that he had help to impress the girls. Anne and Jerry were dancing platonically, not drunk and not sober, trying to have some fun while Charlie and Moody were fighting for the attention of Diana and Jane. It was summer and Anne was wearing a regular white t-shirt with her black denim shorts and sneakers, her hair in a high ponytail. 

They were laughing and dancing until Charlie came up to them and pointed to the tall blond girl walking in. “That’s Winnie, Gilbert’s new girl, we should go say hi” he said, pulling Anne and Jerry with him without waiting for an answer. 

“Isn’t that weird, she doesn’t know who we are?” Anne asked. Gilbert had told her two days earlier that he had started dating the famous Winifred Rose when they were walking to his house after school, unknowingly breaking her heart. 

“I had art with her last year, and Blythe will probably show up soon” Charlie said and stopped in front of the beautiful girl, no woman. She was wearing a short suede skirt and a crop top paired with a chunky heel that made her taller than she already was. Her hair was neatly curled and the most perfect shade of blond Anne had ever seen. 

“Winnie, hey!” Charlie shouted over the music and gave her a one armed hug, surprising the smiling woman even though she hugged him back. 

“Hey, Gilbert’s looking for you!” she smiled and looked over at Anne. “Hi, I'm Winnie” she stretched out her hand. Before Anne had a chance to take it, a familiar curly haired boy came up behind Winifred and put his arms around her waist.

“There you are” he mumbled and pressed a kiss to her blond hair. He walked around her to see two of his friends. “And I see you’ve met Jerry, Sloane and Shirley” he said, clearly already drunk even though they just arrived, and put his arm around Anne, something he used to do often but felt weird in front of his girlfriend.

“Anne” Anne smiled and took Winnie’s, still out, hand. 

“Yeah, but no one calls her that.” Gilbert intervened, squeezing Annes shoulders before letting go of her completely and walking over to give Jerry a hug. 

“They do, he just doesn’t” Anne laughed and rolled her eyes to Winifred to let her know that she thought her boyfriend was ridiculous. 

“With or without an e, Anne?” Winnie smiled back, already enjoying Anne’s company. 

“With, seriously do not forget the e.” Jerry answered for her, both joking and being serious at the same time. 

“Noted” Winnie laughed. 

“It was nice to meet you, but I should check on Moody. I’ll see you around, Winnie” Anne smiled and turned around quickly, feeling that the alcohol in her system made her ability to hold in tears much harder.  _ Why did Gilbert’s girlfriend need to be so kind? Isn’t it enough that she’s the most beautiful person in the world? _ She heard Winifred introducing herself to Jerry behind her and took a deep breath.

“Wait, Shirley!” Gilbert ran after her. “Please find us later, okay?”

“Sure, I just really need to check on Moody.”

Anne ended up not finding Moody and instead found herself in a drinking contest against Tillie Boulter, after that and was barely conscious when Gilbert found her later that night. It ended with Winifred, the sober one, needing to drive Anne to Gilbert’s house as she cried in the backseat of her car and listening to Gilbert, also drunk, apologising on her behalf saying that “she isn’t usually like this” multiple times, making Anne feel like a fool. 

Winnie and Anne rarely hung out because of the embarrassment Anne felt during their first meeting, and because she was in love with Winnie’s boyfriend. Gilbert had tried to get them to be friends since then and invited Anne to their hangouts often, but she never accepted.

* * *

Anne didn’t know how to respond to the fact that Gilbert wanted her to be friends with Winnie because she was so close to him. She had figured it was because it would mean that Gilbert wouldn’t need to cancel plans with his friends or his girlfriend because they could all spend time together. Ka’kwet thought that Gilbert only bugging Anne to hang out with Winnie meant that Winnie might be jealous of how close they were and would feel less threatened if she knew Anne, which Anne thought was ridiculous because why would a girl like her be jealous of Anne. But this was something she would have never thought. 

She let out a loud breath, “sometimes people just aren’t meant to be friends, I still love you though” she said finally, giving Gilbert a hug and feeling guilty for not just sucking in her feelings and go hang out with his girlfriend if it would make him that happy.

“Yeah, I love you too. Thank you for hanging out with dad” he put on his jacket after hugging her back.

“You know I enjoy it more than he does.” Anne laughed. 

“I find that hard to believe.”

“Well, I find it hard to believe he raised the idiot standing in front of me, but life just has a way I guess.”

Gilbert chuckled, “I won’t be late, do you want to stay here and game for a while when I come back?”

“I don’t think so. But seriously Gil ...” Anne said quietly, like she was going to open up and tell Gilbert the real reason she was ignoring Winifred.

“What?”

“Tell your wife I say hi!”

Gilbert left shaking his head trying to conceal a smile. Anne felt sick, despite lightening the mood with that bad joke she always felt ill when she saw him go off, knowing that he would be spending time loving Winifred instead of her. 


	2. Chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cuddling and parties.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your kind response to the first chapter :)
> 
> This one contains mention of alcohol and vomit.

A couple of days passed and it was in the middle of the night when Anne’s phone lit up with a notification. Expecting it to be from twitter, she reluctantly reached out for it with one arm, while still laying with her thighs against her stomach, in a ball like shape, sideways on her bed. She was surprised to see a text from Gilbert at that hour. 

**Gilly boi** \- Is the side door locked? I’m outside. 

**Shirley** \- It’s not

**Shirley** \- show yourself in

Anne could hear the side door open and close and a slight pitter-patter coming from the stairs, but after almost three years of practice of sneaking into her room, Gilbert had learnt how to avoid the creaky floorboards in Green Gables.

“Hey. Are you okay?” Gilbert asked, stepping carefully into her room and seeing Anne lying on the bed in the same position she was in earlier, with her back against him. He closed the door and Anne felt the mattress bend from his weight as he sat down on the bed. She shook her head, feeling like she wouldn’t be able to speak while holding in her tears but not caring enough to wipe her cheeks from traces of the ones that fell before she received his text. Without thinking, Gilbert laid down next to her, his head on the same pillow as hers, pressing his chest to her back and putting his arm around her torso which in turn led her to lower her knees. 

“You don’t need to do that” Anne whispered, still staring into the white wall in front of her. Gilbert could hear in the raspiness of her voice that she had been crying for a while. 

“Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” He asked, ignoring what she said and completely forgetting why he had stopped by to begin with. 

“It’s not a big deal, Gil” she said, contradicting her words by intervening her fingers with the hand he held her with. 

“So talk to me about it.” He pulled her closer, burying his nose in her loose hair. 

“I’m just sad… and anxious, I guess.”

“For no reason at all?” he asked and received an agreeing hum as a reply.

“Can I get you anything? Water? Ibuprofen?” Gilbert asked again, clearly worried since he had never seen her this upset over  _ nothing _ . Anne shook her head and turned in the bed, resulting in their faces only being a couple centimeters apart. He could see the shed tears running over her nose towards the pillow she was laying on while she could see his glossy eyes, filled with tears that had not yet been shed. 

“Want to tell me why you came here in the middle of the night?” she whispered before moving further away from him. 

“I’ll tell you what, if you let me comfort you and be here for you now, we can focus on me when you feel better” Gilbert chuckled and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. Anne didn’t say anything, she just turned around, returning to their earlier position. They stayed that way for a while, enjoying the comfortable silence between them while Gilbert breathed in her familiar scent and Anne drew circles on his hand with her thumb. Despite this being a regular occurrence between the two, Anne couldn’t help but think about if this was what it was like to be in a relationship with Gilbert Blythe. Her gut turned in jealousy when her subconsciousness reminded her that this is probably what Winnie feels like most nights, secure and comforted. 

“Were you thinking about your dad again?” Anne asked suddenly, trying to distract herself from the thought. 

“Yeah, he’s getting really bad. I just couldn’t be in the house any longer” Gilbert sighed. 

“I feel better, let’s change” Anne said, turning around once again and urging Gilbert to do the same, which he did. “Does Bash know you’re here?” she continued, settling in as the big spoon despite being smaller than Gilbert. 

“Yeah, he was over at our place when I was reading Whitman to dad and he just wasn’t following anymore, so Bash suggested I come here for a while.” Anne knew it had been hard on Gilbert when Bash and Mary got married and moved into a newly built house on the same property, despite them still being close Gilbert felt extra responsible for his father during the nights. She squeezed him harder to show sympathy, this wasn’t the first time John had zoned out while he was being read to, but it still hurt just as much.

“Do you want me to come over tomorrow? We could bake plum puffs again. Maybe remind him of his teenage romance with my foster mum” Anne joked, knowing Gilbert didn’t want to hear empty, comforting words or promises she couldn’t keep. 

“She’s your adoptive mum now” Gilbert reminded her with a chuckle. 

“Even better, it’s definitely easier coming up with punchlines to jokes about adoptive parents compared to foster ones” Anne said, making Gilbert laugh quietly. 

“He would love that” he said quietly and she could hear his smile through the words, which made her press her face against the place between his shoulder and neck. “How come you always manage to make me laugh when I’m about to cry?” he asked seriously. 

“Because I’m the funniest person on planet earth?” she joked, the air from her laugh creating goosebumps on the back of his neck. “Or because I know you well enough to know that you need it?”

“It's certainly not the first one” Gilbert laughed and looked back at Anne, smiling at their inside joke of her having the worst kind of humour (according to her friends, with an exception from Charlie), enjoying puns and dad jokes. They both knew that Gilbert was pretending to hate them, just to get a reaction out of her, but they left it unsaid. “Must be the second one”

“I’ll convince you of the first one too, don’t worry” Anne smiled at him before he turned back, pressing his back to her chest to get impossibly closer. 

“Hey, Anne?” She hummed as a reply. 

“Would it be alright if Winifred goes with us to Tillie’s party? I get that you don’t want to hang out with just me and her, but do you mind spending time with her when everyone else is with us?” he asked.

“Everyone except for Ka’kwet. But no, I don’t mind.” Anne answered, tiredly. 

He looked back at her again “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure Gil. I don’t actually hate her, you know? I just don’t want to third wheel you guys.”

“That wouldn’t happen, but I understand. I guess I wouldn’t want to hang out with you and a guy you were interested in either.” 

Anne hated when he would say things like that, because what did he mean? Wouldn’t he want that because it would be awkward or because he would be as jealous as she was or did he just say shit like that to mess with her head? This was exactly how they had been last spring, before he got together with Winnie. They would sit in her room in the middle of the night, talking about everything and anything and then he would say stuff like that. Stuff like “you looked cute in chem today”, “I saw a senior check you out on the bus this morning, do you want me to do something about that?” and “you know the boys are right, right? I did have a huge crush on you”. Then, just as she was working up the courage to do something about it, he told her about Winnie. 

The comments had recently started again, Gilbert complimenting Anne on more than her intellect and him saying things that could be interpreted as jealousy. This time, however, Anne knew that he meant nothing of it. It was just the way he was.

“If I fall asleep, let yourself out” Anne whispered into Gilbert's ear, her voice sleepy. 

“Okay.”

“I’m serious, don’t wake me up when you leave.” she nuzzled into his back. 

“I won’t, Shirley.” Gilbert whispered, closing his eyes and subconsciously leveling his breathing.

Anne squeezed him again, before falling into a deep sleep with her arm around him, her hand linked with his while taking in the scent of him. He fell asleep quickly after, thankful to have a friend like Anne, always there to support him and make him feel safe. 

  
  


Anne was the first one to wake up, with hair that wasn’t hers in her mouth and a weight on her chest. She panicked when she saw the head of brown curls laying on her ribcage, breathing deeply with his arms tightly wrapped around her waist. 

She yelled “Gilbert!”, shaking his shoulder and freeing herself from his grip. “ You weren’t supposed to fall asleep last night!” she whispered as to not wake up Matthew or Marilla. Anne was surprised to wake up with him, despite that he often snuck up to her room late at night on school nights, he always used to leave and go back home after talking. “Fuck, this isn’t good.” 

“Good morning to you too, Shirley” Gilbert said in a husky voice, rubbing the sleep from his eyes with his knuckles. 

“You need to leave. Fuck!”

“Hmm, did I miss something?” he questioned. 

“We were cuddling?” Anne said in the form of a question although it was a statement, sitting up straight and fixing her hair which had taken the shape of a bird’s nest during the night. 

“So? It was nice” Gilbert smiled, deciding not to mention that that was the best night’s sleep he had had in months. 

“So, you have a fucking girlfriend,  _ Gilbert _ . That was inappropriate.”

“All of us sleep in the same room all the time, that’s what friends do. I bet Ka’kwet and Diana have slept in this bed, Jerry has probably kicked you off it in his sleep. It's platonic, don’t be ridiculous.”

“I am not being ridiculous, I am being scared of Winifred Rose!” Anne exclaimed, still tired. 

“Then I won’t tell her that I cuddled with my best friend, no big deal. What time is it?” he looked at the dark sky outside, through the window. “We could probably get at least one more hour of sleep, I’ll be the big spoon if it helps.”

“Are you fucking serious, Blythe? You want to go back to sleep? And spoon with me? You really think that's  _ not a big deal _ ?” she poorly imitated his voice. 

“What?” He asked, clearly not as awake as she was, laying down in the bed again. “I’ll leave if you want me to, I just want to sleep some more but I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” 

“I’m not uncomfortable, I just don’t want it to be weird.” 

“It would have been weird if you woke up with an erection, but i’m pretty sure that you didn’t so can we please just go back to sleep?” Gilbert said, trying to lighten the mood. 

“You’re stupid, did you know that? But fine, we’ll go back to sleep.” Anne laid down next to him, cursing to herself for agreeing to not only sleep next to, but also to cuddle with, her best friend. The best friend with whom she was in love with. The best friend who was in a relationship with someone other than her.

Gilbert opened his arms for her, “it’s not weird unless you make it weird, Anne” he chuckled, earning an eye roll in reply before she turned her back against him. He laid still for a second before scooting closer to her and spooning his best friend for the third time since last night. “Is this okay?” he asked shyly, not wanting to break any more of her boundaries and thought that he maybe should have left.

“Not a word about this to anyone, but yes. Please hold me a little tighter.”

“Of course, I love you, Shirley. You are my best friend, you know” he said sleepily, obeying her wish and holding her tighter. 

* * *

“Gil! Winnie! You should come play with us!” Anne yelled over the music to the group of people crowding by the kitchen counter to get something to drink, already dragging Jerry by the hand to the beer pong table in the living room. Moody had left them as soon as they got there, going straight to the makeshift dance floor to talk to the girls whereas Charlie hadn’t even made it into the house before being stopped by Jane Andrews and Josie Pye to have a smoke on the porch. 

“Are you kidding, we don’t have a chance against you two” Gilbert laughed, and walked over to the opposite side of the table, his girlfriend following shortly behind. 

“Are they like  _ really  _ good?” Winifred whispered to him.

“Not necessarily, but they both have the alcohol tolerance of a horse” Gilbert said loud enough for their opponents to hear, rolling his eyes and already feeling a little out of it despite only having one drink. 

“You’re just jealous because you’re a lightweight” Jerry weighed in, before he threw the first ball across the table. 

Before they knew it, Gilbert and Winnie had lost big time, barely making any shots that went into the plastic cups of their opposing team. It wasn’t a shocker, not only did Anne and Jerry have the ability to basically drink their weight, they were also very competitive and would not lose anything without a fight, not even a silly drinking game. It was also no secret that the two of them were a great team, when they weren’t bickering. Gilbert had always been jealous of that, how good they were at cooperating and complimenting the other’s strengths. Sure, he and Anne were a great team and maybe even better friends, but they were missing something that Gilbert couldn’t quite put his finger on. 

“Man, I’m really glad I don’t have to share a bathroom with you, Blythe. You have terrible aim, doesn’t he Shirley?” Jerry asked before taking a shot, feeling like he didn’t get intoxicated enough by the drinking game they had played. 

Anne laughed when Gilbert feigned sadness over the comment and was suddenly hugged from behind by a sweaty Moody. “Ruby just ditched me to go check on Jane and Josie, so you need to come dance with me, Annie” he said, still hugging her around the waist and ignoring his other friends who were standing around them, chuckling at the scene. 

She did what she was told and danced freely on the dance floor, steady on the feet (unlike the people around her) but mind blurry enough not to care about the fact that she spent time with Gilbert and Winifred without hating it. Maybe she was finally starting to get over him? 

Moody ended up in front of Anne while dancing and she caught herself actually having a good time dancing with him, despite receiving sad looks from Ruby once again. That, however, ended when Winifred found them in the corner of the dance floor to let them know that Gilbert was on his knees, puking in the bathroom with Charlie. Looking at the time and seeing that it was late, they decided to split up. Moody quickly left to find Jerry who had somehow disappeared, while Anne followed Winnie to the second floor of Tillie’s house. 

“I’ve never seen him  _ this  _ drunk before, he was crying and asking for you one second and spilling his guts out the next. Is he usually like this?” Winifred asked on their way there, seemingly unfaced about the fact that her boyfriend had apparently been asking her about another woman. Anne didn’t know whether to feel relieved or offended by that Winnie didn’t see her as a threat to her relationship with Gilbert. On one hand, Anne and Gilbert were  _ just  _ friends and she is glad that she doesn’t need to worry about him having a jealous girlfriend who would forbid them from hanging out. On the other hand, was she so out of his league that Winifred didn’t care at all? The one positive thing to come out of Winnie’s attempt to start a conversation, according to Anne, was that she noticed that Winnie’s speech was a little slurred. Despite being all for women supporting women, Anne couldn’t help but feel a little joy over the fact that at least Winifred Rose wasn’t perfect when she was drunk. 

“He’s just had a hard week, probably felt like he needed to blow off some steam or something” Anne shrugged, trying to act like she wasn’t worried about her best friend who had never acted this way before, and walked into the bathroom to see Charlie wiping Gilbert’s mouth with a cloth. 

“Thank god you’re here, I don’t know what to do with him” Charlie exclaimed when he saw the two girls in the doorway. Anne couldn’t tell if he was talking to her or to Winnie. 

“Shirley, I want to go home” Gilbert sobbed, sitting on the floor with his back against the bathtub. 

“Okay, let’s go as soon as the guys get here” Anne said and went over to give Charlie a hug. “Has anyone told you that you are the best designated driver in the world? Because you are and I love you” she told him lovingly. 

“You’re making me blush. Next time it’s your turn, nerd” Charlie whispered in her ear, hugging her back. Despite being friends with Anne for years, Charlie wasn’t used to how affectionate she was. 

Soon enough they were all squished into Charlie’s car, him in the driver's seat and Gilbert riding shotgun with a plastic bag in front of him. Anne was sitting behind him in Moody’s lap, Winifred in the middle and Jerry next to her. 

“Where am I driving everyone?” Charlie asked as he drove onto the main road in Avonlea. 

“Home” Jerry answered, tiredly. 

“I’m not letting John see Gilbert like  _ this _ ” Anne said and reached to grab the guy in question’s shoulder. 

“I can’t let my parents see him like that, I want them to like him” Winifred complained and Anne could tell that she really just wanted to go to sleep instead of sitting in a clown car with a bunch of drunk juniors. 

“What about sneaking into Anne’s place? As long as we avoid the creaky floorboards her parents won’t wake up” Moody suggested. Charlie could have sworn he saw Gilbert’s relaxed face clench up at that comment, like it bothered him, but said nothing. Anne was too busy to notice, distracted by the warm feeling in her body that always accrued when someone spoke about Matthew and Marilla as her  _ parents _ . 

“Let’s take you two to Bash’s?” Anne looked at Winifred after snapping out of her thoughts. “He’s cool and Gil will be close to home” she motivated. 

“Sounds like a good plan” Winnie smiled, almost looking thankful to the red head. 

Moody had fallen asleep and was loudly snoring when they arrived at their first destination. The other four carried Gilbert inside Bash’s house, right next door to the old place where John and Gilbert lived. Anne walked into the kitchen to explain the situation to Bash and his pregnant wife, Mary, who for some reason were both up at the wee hours at night. Thankfully they both said that it wouldn’t be a problem and that Bash could take over it from there. 

On her way to the sofa, where her friends had taken Gilbert, Anne saw Jerry whispering something to a sleepy Gilbert that made him yell “no way” before the both of them burst into laughter. Charlie couldn’t help but join, despite not knowing what they were laughing about, which led Winnie to seek out Anne’s eyes to subtly shake her head with a small smile on her lips. If this was what it was like to be friends with Winifred Rose, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if they hung out every once in a while. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank your for reading, I'm sorry for the delay. 
> 
> You can find me on twitter @ lolleea :)


	3. Chapter three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diana and Anne hang out, Winnie makes things awkward and we get to see a bit of what's on Gilbert's mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy La Fecha, Twitter people. Happy whatever-week day-it is, non-Twitter people :)

Anne was laying on her stomach on top of Diana’s bed, the end of a pencil between her teeth and a furrow between her brows, staring down at the blank page of the notebook in front of her. Diana was laying next to her, on her back with a big, heavy textbook lifted over her face. The room was filled with quiet, happy music playing out of Diana's speakers, drowning the noise coming from her sister playing the violin on the other side of the wall. 

Anne and Diana always used to hang out on Sundays, Marilla was often at church helping Mrs Lynde with whatever she had going on and Matthew was hard at work on the farm, often with the help of Jerry. Diana's parents also attended the church service every week, together with Diana’s cheeky little sister Minnie May. Diana, herself, had stopped attending weekly about a year ago, and blamed it on school work. The bosom friends started hanging out that day of the week ever since, doing everything from studying and watching movies to gossip and go shopping. 

The two had met at a church event before Anne started school and hit it off instantly, Diana’s manners and Anne’s imagination completing each other perfectly and creating a strong friendship. Diana had been disappointed in her friends when they refused to accept Anne on the first day of high school and were mean towards her just because he had spoken to one of the boys. Now, though, she saw that it had been for the best. Diana knew that Anne wouldn’t do well trying to adjust herself after the rules and peer pressure that were all too strong in her own friend group. Seeing Anne hanging out with the boys that Diana had grown up with, it was clear to her that Anne’s wit was more appreciated and that her kindness and empathy had rubbed off on them.

“Ruby tells me you danced with Moody yesterday” Diana said casually all of a sudden, putting down her book and looking over at Anne. 

“Did she tell you that she basically starred holes into my head?” Anne asked without looking up, still chewing on her pencil. (A disgusting habit that she had had for as long as she could remember, but hadn’t even noticed it until Gilbert had pointed it out to her a year prior.)

“Doesn’t surprise me” Diana chuckled and turned, so that she too was laid on her stomach, feet and shins in the air. 

“Moody was very clearly into you a week ago, and because he gave her a little attention in math a couple days ago, she’s all over him” Anne sighed, putting away her empty notebook. “Which is totally cool. But when the new girl says two words to the only person who approached her during her first day, I basically committed the worst crime possible, according to high school law.”

“She apologised for the way she treated you, Anne” Diana defended her best friend from childhood. 

“And I’ve talked her up to Moody for months, as per your request in us playing matchmakers. However, I should be allowed to have a good, platonic, time with my friends without receiving death glares.” 

“I know you should, I’ll talk to Ruby about being less passive aggressive towards you.” 

“I can’t believe you said Ruby and aggressive in the same sentence” Anne laughed. “Thanks though, and I’ll tell Moody that Ruby had a great time at the party and that he should text her” she gave an obviously fake smile, very tired of helping their clueless friends get together. 

“So, did you have a good time yesterday?” Diana changed the subject. 

“Subtle” Anne laughed again, throwing one of the pillows on the bed in Diana’s face. 

“I’m serious, did Winnie bother you or something?” 

“No, she was nice to me all night. ‘Wasn’t even a sore loser when Jer and I beat them in beer pong” Anne said and despite her nice words, her tone sounded harsh. She had told Diana about her small  _ crush  _ on Gilbert, over the phone the same night she had met Winifred, crying over how she had embarrassed herself and that the beautiful girl had been nothing but kind. Diana had been just as shocked as Anne when she found out about Gilbert and Winifred, she was sure that Gilbert had a thing for Anne and that it was just a matter of time before they would get their shit together by communicating their feelings. Anne didn’t believe her, though. She thought that every sign she had picked up from Gilbert, about him feeling the same way, was all in her head. 

Diana had been there for her ever since, as a comforting friend who wasn’t in Anne’s main group. Although Anne’s heartbreak ruined her summer, filled with tears and sleepless nights, Diana was there to make her feel better. They had borrowed (without permission) a rowboat from one of Diana’s neighbours and taken it out around the lake of shining water in the middle of the night, baked loads of pies with weird combinations of fillings (the banana-apple-mango pie sounded better in their heads), had a super fancy tea party (for just the two of them) and once again stole a bottle of currant wine from Marilla (on purpose this time) to remind them of how much they had grown up from the first year they knew each other. 

Anne felt comfortable opening up to Diana. That included telling her about the unwanted feeling that had reemerged from her childhood when she was replaced by Winnie, about the guilt she had for exploiting her friendship with Gilbert to get closer to him despite him being in a relationship, based on the fact that she still wanted to be more than friends with the guy. Anne thought it was one thing having a romantic interest in your best friend, and it was another to want to act on those feelings. And sometimes, there was nothing Anne wanted more than to do just that, act on those feelings. It had happened more often since the process of her adoption to the Cuthberts ended positively last month, she finally had the home, family and safe haven that she had dreamed of as a child. She felt greedy for still wanting more, for more people to love her like she loved them. 

What Anne hadn’t shared with Diana, what she had barely had the conscience to admit to herself, was that deep inside she felt that, maybe, she was better for Gilbert than Winifred was. She hadn’t dared to say it out loud or even write it in her journal, but she knew there was a reason Gilbert always came to her when he was upset. She knew how to be there for him in a comforting way, how to make him laugh when he was about to cry, if that was what he needed. She knew how to hold him when he needed to release the tears. Anne didn’t know if it was all in her head, but she knew that on some level Gilbert belonged to her just like she belonged to him. Maybe she wasn’t prettier or more popular than Winnie. She wasn’t as well mannered or came from as nice of a family as she did. She couldn’t even do math without letting her temper get the best of her.  _ But _ , she understood Gilbert in ways that she was sure that Winifred didn’t. She had seen his story upclose for years and had heard about the ones she missed in great detail from him. She was close to his family and loved them dearly. She had weird inside jokes with Gilbert and knew that nobody could possibly get his nerdy sense of humour like she did. She knew that Winifred didn’t listen to the music they liked, that she would never understand how they felt when they belted out to Queen in the orchard on warm evenings or cried to the Smiths in Gilbert’s car or ugly danced to the Neighbourhood during poker nights with their friends. However, Anne also knew that she could never say any of that out loud. 

“Was she fake-nice or genuinely kind?” Diana asked, making Anne lose her train of thought. 

“Genuinely kind, I think? It's hard to tell with her ... she is actually going with us to the diner tonight.” 

“Want me to join? I sure would like to give her and Gilbert a piece of my mind” Diana suggested, moving her eyebrows to communicate that she wasn’t serious. 

“I think Ka’kwet will handle it, she wasn’t too happy when Gilbert told everyone in the group chat” Anne chuckled, partly at Diana’s facial expression and partly because of Ka’kwet’s reaction when Gilbert texted them. 

“God! I would die to be in your group chat. I bet it’s mostly Charlie and Moody comparing dick sizes, Jerry being confused, you and Gil arguing and Ka’kwet trying to steer up plans” Diana laughed, earning herself another pillow in the face. She was happy that Anne found  _ her  _ people, but there was also an underlying jealousy of how easy it was for her to be friends with boys, like it was no big deal. It had never been like that for Diana, she was always too nicely dressed to play in the Canadian mud when they were kids, unlike the young boys, and that had followed her into high school. It had followed most of them, Anne had realised when she came to Avonlea. The boys sat in one end of the classroom and girls in the other, everyone too shy to actually hang out as friends. Before she came, talking to a member of the opposite gender had meant that you liked them, which was probably why everyone had made such a big deal of Gilbert and Anne walking to class together. So, Diana couldn’t help but feel a little jealous of how easy it had been for Anne to stand up to the status quo on their small island. On their small, traditional, religious island. 

* * *

The afternoon sun was shining when Jerry and Anne got out of Matthew’s truck and walked into the diner, snow was slowly falling from the sky and the coldness of the air made their noses turn red. They walked in through the entrance and saw that all of their friends were already there, sitting around their usual booth with an extra chair brought up to the end of the table to account for Winifred being with them. 

“You’re late” Gilbert, who was sitting in the chair, said disappointedly when he saw his two friends walk towards them. 

“You’re one to talk” Jerry answered, walking up to him and shaking his shoulder before going around the table to sit down next to Ka’kwet. Anne just rolled her eyes before sliding into the seat next to Moody. 

“You look nice” her clumsy friend whispered to her, looking her up and down. Instead of her regular mum jeans and Matthews old band t-shirts she had opted for black skinny jeans and a blouse, wanting to dress up to go to Diana's house yet still wore her two, regular dutch braids. 

“Thank you, I just came from Diana’s” she smiled, nudging her shoulder with his. 

“Does that mean-”

“Yes, I have information about Ruby” Anne interrupted him, already knowing what he was going to ask. Before she had a chance to say more, they were interrupted by Winifred.

“You two are really cute together” she said, smiling genuinely.

“Huh?” Moody asked, confused. 

“Wait, do you think they’re together?” Charlie asked, shocked. The remark from the blonde had brought him out of the conversation he had had with Ka’kwet and Gilbert and laughter was evident in his voice. Anne immediately blushed and couldn’t help but look over to Gilbert, to see his reaction.  _ Was he jealous? Would he even care if she decided to date one of their friends? _ To her disappointment he looked completely unaffected, not even paying them attention but instead continuing talking to Ka’kwet. 

“Looks like Blythe isn’t the only one with a crush” Jerry chuckled, receiving a kick under the table from Anne. 

“We- we’re not together” Moody clarified to a confused Winifred, his face as red as Anne’s hair. 

“The only crush we should talk about is Shirley’s” Gilbert said seriously, taking a sip from the drink he had ordered before Anne and Jerry showed up. Anne could feel her heart beating faster than it did ten seconds ago, holding her breath. _ He knew? He knew that she liked, loved, him and was going to tell everyone? While they were with his girlfriend? _ “On Bash” he continued, after putting the drink down, smirking playfully. 

Anne sighed out of relief, he wasn’t talking about her crush on him.  _ Wait, how did he know about Bash? _

“Your brother?” Winnie asked, confused once again. 

“Isn’t he old?” Ka’kwet followed up, also confused since she had only met Gilbert’s family a couple of times. 

“He’s ancient, Shirley!” Charlie exclaimed laughing, his arm reaching behind Moody to pat her on her back teasingly. 

“Did you sell me out, Jer?” Anne asked, piecing it together from how quiet he was now and to how he had whispered something to Gilbert the previous night. 

“Hey, he was sad and about to burst into tears again, so I just told him the real reason why you wanted to let them off at Bash’s. It wasn’t like I expected him to remember it when he woke up” Jerry defended himself. Anne’s face was still tinted a very bright red colour. 

“Sounds like I missed a very eventful night” Ka’kwet joked, seeing how much Anne was suffering. 

Gilbert ignored it and looked at Anne again, “I can’t believe you had a crush on my brother” he laughed teasingly. “He’s married, you know. With a kid on the way.” 

“It was like for a month when I first got here, he was nice to me and super understanding of what I had gone through” Anne tried explaining, then decided it was best to give her friends what they wanted to hear “and I mean, we’ve all seen him” she laughed, raising her eyebrows suggestively. Everyone but Gilbert laughed at that comment, she had a point. 

“No wonder you spent so much time at my place freshman year” Gilbert commented, shaking his head with a smile on his lips. Anne could have sworn he had some extra colour on his cheeks too. 

“So, Gilbert had a crush on you when you first started Avonlea High and you had a thing for his brother? That’s hilarious” Winifred said, trying to be a part of the conversation but feeling a bit like a seventh wheel, which made everyone stop laughing, an awkward silence roaming over the table until Moody spoke up. 

“Blythe, you not only let her in”, he gestured toward Winnie, “on the joke, she also teases you in front of us” he chuckled again. 

“I love you already” Charlie said, looking at her and they started laughing once again, the awkward moment ceased for everyone but Anne, who sat quietly and nodded. The waiter came and took their order before she excused herself from the table to go take some fresh air. 

“Should I not have said that?” Winifred asked when Anne left, looking worriedly at Gilbert. 

“I should probably go check on her” Gilbert said, looking out the window and seeing Anne under the roof of the diner looking out at the snow filled car park. 

“Give her some time to breathe, then I can go” Ka’kwet offered. 

“No, you comforted me last week when I saw Billy hitting on Josie. It’s my turn now” Charlie said and rose before anyone could object. 

While Jerry tried to start a conversation about the food, to take away from the obviously awkward atmosphere, Gilbert zoned out and watched Anne and Charlie on the other side of the window. It looked like they were just talking, Anne didn’t look sad or upset, they weren’t even standing that close to each other. Still, Gilbert couldn’t help but feeling put off by it. He knew he had no reason to really, Anne was close to everyone in their group, it wasn’t weird for her to talk to them privately. Sure, Gilbert didn’t love seeing her hug Charlie at the party the previous night and hear her tell him she loved him, but that was what friends did. And yes, he probably would have preferred to go out there and talk to Anne himself, instead of Charlie volunteering, but he seemed to do a good job and that was the important thing. Right? Besides, if he should be worried about Anne dating anyone in their group (which he shouldn’t, because he didn’t care. He had a girlfriend) it would be Moody. Apparently he also sneaks up to her room in the middle of the night. Winifred had also mistaken them as a couple, so maybe there is something there. Or maybe he was being irrational and overthinking it. It wasn’t even his business...

Gilbert was so caught up in his thoughts that he had missed that not only had Anne and Charlie left their spot outside, they had also gone to the bathroom and were now heading back to the table where some of them already had gotten their meals.  _ How long had he zoned out for? _

“You okay?” Ka’kwet asked when Anne sat down again, laughing at something Charlie had said on their way back from the restrooms. 

“Yeah, thanks” she smiled back. 

“Have fun in there?” Moody asked, raising his eyebrows and smirking, two moves that he had  _ definitely  _ learnt from Gilbert. 

Charlie nudged his shoulder, before accepting the plate of food that was handed to them by their waiter. 

“Stop that, it’s not like I asked him to help me take out my tampon, he just waited outside the door” Anne rolled her eyes, tired of that same joke that one of the guys would make whenever she brought one of them with her to the bathroom. 

“Just to clarify, we are not together” Charlie laughed, looking at Winnie. 

She laughed too, “got it” she smiled before taking a bite out of the burger she ordered. 

They had their meal in peace, no more misunderstandings or sensitive subjects brought up. Just normal teenage smalltalk about school, annoying siblings and the food they were eating. 

Gilbert pulled Anne aside on the way out, to apologise for the awkwardness that Winifred had caused in the beginning of dinner, “I shouldn’t have told her that, all of that is between you and me and I should have kept it that way” he followed. 

“I don’t care what you tell her, Gil. Just make sure she doesn’t embarrass me in front of our friends” Anne sighed, looking exhausted. 

“Let me drive you home so that we can talk about it, please? It wasn’t her intention to embarrass you and I’m definitely the one who should be more embarrassed.”

“I’m tired, I just want to go home and lay down.”

“I could join you?” Gilbert suggested shyly, not knowing how Anne would react. 

“No, thanks. I’ll just go with Charlie and Moody, see you” she said, walking over and standing on her toes to put her arm over Moody’s shoulder. “So, you need to text Ruby and tell her you had a good time tonight.”

  
Moody smiled brightly, hopping into the driver’s seat and continuing the conversation with Anne while Gilbert stood frozen in place.  _ Why had Anne been so cordial towards him these last couple of months? _ As weird as it might sound, Gilbert missed the days a situation like this would end with the two of them in a screaming match, until they forgot what they were fighting about and would make up just as fast.  _ Where was that Anne? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel a need to clarify that I love Bash. Also, thank you for reading.


	4. Chapter four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my name is Lea and I like to place Gilbert into awkward situations. What's your favourite passtime?

Anne was woken up from her deep sleep by Ka’kwet shaking her shoulder lightly. “Good morning sunshine, breakfast is ready” she whispered lightly, placing a strand of Anne’s red hair that had escaped her braid behind her ear.

“Five more minutes” Anne mumbled, turning in Charlie’s couch to face the back and shield her eyes from the light. 

“You and Moody are ridiculous” Ka’kwet laughed and turned Anne back around to face her, nodding to Charlie’s room from where they could hear snoring. 

Anne, as usual, refused to get out of the makeshift bed before she got her five more minutes of sleep. When she finally got up and walked to the kitchen, removing the sleep in her eyes with her knuckles, she was met by a gloating Gilbert sitting by the kitchen table eating breakfast with Ka’kwet.

“Good morning, sleepy head! Have something for me?” he asked slyly, rubbing it in as always. 

Gilbert Blythe was known as a gentleman, in the small town of Avonlea. People spoke of him as the kind and smart boy with an ill father, who always did the right thing. Charming enough to get the attention of his peers and the ideal son in law, if you ask the parents in Avonlea. That was Gilbert Blythe according to people who knew him superficially. His friends, however, knew Gilbert’s true colours. Which was that he had the most teasing personality and was extremely competitive. He was as far from a sore loser you could be, but the baddest winner all of them had witnessed, at least when he competed against Anne. Whenever he won over her, he would gloat for days. Always rubbing it in her face and reminding her of her loss, which was unfortunate considering she actually  _ was  _ a sore loser. That explained in the situation they were in now. Gilbert had won by a landslide in the poker game Charlie hosted for the six of them the previous night, and Anne was not happy about it. 

She reluctantly grabbed her purse, that she had left in the kitchen the night before, and took out her wallet while angrily staring him down. She silently handed Gilbert, who was grinning widely and most definitely enjoying it too much, the money she owed him from the game. 

“Don’t pout, I won this fair and square” Gilbert said teasingly, accepting the cash. 

“I’m not pouting” Anne argued childishly before getting herself a glass of water and sitting down next to Ka’kwet. 

Charlie, who had gotten Moody up from bed, joined them in the kitchen and was visibly exhausted from trying to wake up their friend. Gilbert passed him the coffee cup on the table before saying “sure, you’re not” in the most obnoxious voice he could, to the redhead and took a bite of his piece of toast. 

Anne rolled her eyes, too tired to come up with a comeback, and picked up her pack of birth control pills and took a pill, swallowing it with the water. Gilbert gave her a questioning look, which she didn’t see and instead reached for an apple from the fruit bowl on the table. 

“What was that? Are you sick?” Gilbert asked, confused and worried, just as Jerry and Moody entered the kitchen lazily. 

Anne took a bite from her apple. “Huh?”

“You just took some weird pill and expect us not to react?” Gilbert asked, his eyebrows knitted in worry, which made Ka’kwet laugh, almost choking on her juice. Gilbert once again gave a questioning look, this time directed towards the brunette. 

“Wait, are you serious?” Ka’kwet asked when she saw how confused the poor guy looked and laughed even harder. “Is he serious?” she asked Anne, still laughing. 

Anne also chuckled at his confusion, saying “I thought you wanted to be a doctor, Gil” with a teasing smile. 

“Wait, what are you guys laughing at?” Moody asked, confused as usual. 

“The one and only Gilbert Blythe doesn’t know what the pill is” Anne laughed and shot Gilbert, who still looked confused, a grin. 

“What? I-I know what the pill is” he stuttered. “Is that what you took?”

“Do you even know Anne? What other pill would she take 11 am?” Jerry asked him, smiling at the thought of their friend taking anything else. 

“Shirley’s not really the drug-addict kind of person, Blythe” Moody laughed when understanding what the girls thought was so funny. 

“I know that. I just didn’t know you were on birth control” Gilbert said blushing, looking at Anne. 

“Dude, even I knew that” Charlie nudged his shoulder teasingly. 

“How do you know that, Sloane?” Ka’kwet asked, suddenly interested in how Charlie knew more about Anne than Gilbert did. 

“He works at the pharmacy” Jerry reminded the group, as if that would be the first thing they should have thought of. 

“Yeah, that was awkward” Charlie laughed, thinking back to how Anne had walked up to the counter to get her prescription drug. 

“At least you didn’t find her vibrator last time we spent the night at Green Gables” Moody intervened. 

“Hey! I don’t know what you were expecting to find when looking through my nightstand drawer, but you don’t have anyone to blame but yourself” Anne blushed. 

“We’ll just ignore the purpose of the lotion on your nightstand then, Moody” Ka’kwet said, giving him a knowing look that shut him up. 

After breakfast, Gilbert and Anne sat in Gilbert’s car on their way home. He had just dropped off Ka’kwet and was driving himself and Anne to his house to hang out with his family. Bash was cooking for everyone and Anne wanted to spend as much time with them as possible before the baby came. It was quiet inside the car, the only noise being the music from the radio. 

“So, who are you seeing?” Gilbert asked all of a sudden, stirring awkwardly in the driver's seat while looking at the road. 

“Excuse me?” Anne asked, startled, unsure of why her best friend would think she was seeing someone and why he’s asking about it right then and there.

“Who are you seeing? I didn’t know you were sleeping with anyone” he continued, trying to sound casual, like it was the most normal thing in the world and definitely not something that upset him. He didn’t care if his best friend was seeing or sleeping with anyone. 

The question, with his reasoning, made Anne defensive. “I don’t see why you would know that” she answered bitterly, leaving the ‘considering I want to sleep with you and you are clearly not interested’ unsaid. 

“Everyone else seemed to know why you needed contraception.” 

That made Anne more defensive, because it wasn’t like she was hiding the fact that she was taking something to help with her irregular period and horrible cramps. Gilbert just hadn’t been paying attention to her the three months she had taken the pill. He had most likely been occupied by his phone, sending cute texts to his girlfriend or arguing with her about the smallest things. Knowing Gilbert as well as she did, Anne knew exactly what to say to push his buttons, because despite the fact that he was in a relationship and wasn’t interested in pursuing anything other than friendship with her, Gilbert did not like it when Anne kept things from him. She didn’t know if it was because he seemed to tell her everything and wanted that reciprocated, if he knew how it felt to not have someone to share secrets with and didn’t want her to feel that way or if it was because he simply wanted to know everything about her, the positives and the negatives, the serious things and the silly thoughts. So what would be the harm in insinuating that she had kept something from him? It wasn’t like it would make him angry or jealous, it would just make him sad for not being told a (fake) secret. Anne’s heart broke every time Gilbert talked about Winnie, every time she was them together, whenever someone else would mention their relationship. If she could handle that for months, Gilbert could handle the disappointment of being excluded, right?

Looking over at him from the passenger’s seat, Anne harshly said “I just don’t understand why my sex life is any of your business.”

Gilbert winced, he  _ really  _ didn’t want to picture that. “It’s not” he said calmly, without taking his eyes off the road. 

“Then why the questioning?”

“Curiosity?” he tried smiling, thinking ‘not at all jealousy’ to himself. Gilbert didn’t know why it bothered him so much, that Anne was secretly seeing someone. The logical part of his brain focused on the ‘secret’ part, he was upset because Anne didn’t tell him and it hurts when your best friend doesn’t tell you about something that big. Yet, if he looked deeper into himself, he knew that wasn’t the true reasoning behind the unsettling feeling in his stomach. Gilbert wasn’t totally oblivious, on some level he understood that he was feeling that way because he wished that he was the person she was seeing. He was aware that he was lying to himself, he was jealous. Jealous that Anne was with someone who wasn’t him, jealous that their other friends knew before he did, jealous that the person Anne had chosen to be with had the courage to do something about their feelings, unlike himself. 

Gilbert also knew that he had no right to feel jealousy, he was in a relationship and had thrown it in Anne’s face. He loved Winnie, she wasn’t some distraction to get over his best friend or a second place price. She was a nice, smart woman who for some reason wanted to be with him. Gilbert also knew that he didn’t have a right to be jealous because he hadn’t told Anne how he felt ever since they met. Sure, he flirted with her and left her hints that he was hoping she would get it, she probably did considering how smart Anne was. But he didn’t communicate it clearly, he didn’t give her a choice by letting her know that he was an option. He didn’t think he could handle that heartbreak, so instead, Gilbert made the choice for her. He had been trying to show her how he felt all spring whenever they were by themselves, hoping that if he gave her the hints she could act on it if she wanted to. It had gone on a few months, but in late May he decided to give up, she clearly wasn’t interested in him the same way he was in her. Either, she saw the signals he sent her and ignored them to keep their friendship the way it was, or she could never see him that way and therefore wasn’t even looking for signs. That’s when Gilbert decided to actually pursue Winifred, the year older girl who had been sending him flirty texts for a while, they went on two dates and were all of a sudden a couple. He hadn’t planned on it moving that fast and telling Anne about it was one of the most difficult things he felt he had done, it killed the idea of the two of them possibly becoming a thing in the future. What buried that idea of them, was Anne meeting his new girlfriend for the first time. So no, Anne’s sex life wasn’t his buisness, even if he wished it was. And maybe curiosity wasn’t the reason he asked her all those questions. 

“Well you seem to have given it some thought” Anne replied shortly, pleased with how her comment had affected Gilbert. Still, she felt bad because even though she technically hadn’t lied, she was definitely insinuating something that wasn’t true. 

The car once again became quiet, the music from the radio playing in the background as both of them got lost in their thoughts about each other. When arriving at Gilbert’s place, Anne silently got out of the car and walked straight up to his front door to let herself in without looking back at him, who hadn’t moved. Gilbert sat there for a while, regretting opening his big, fat mouth and asking her those stupid questions. He couldn’t help but think about how their friendship would be even weirder and change even more after this, and Gilbert blamed it all on himself. 

* * *

Gilbert walked inside after chopping wood for the fireplace, outside in his snowy backyard, hearing Anne’s voice coming from the kitchen. He walked in to see her and his father at the kitchen table, Anne reading him her newest piece and John nibbling on the blueberry pie in front of him (must have been brought by Anne, Gilbert thought). It was an article she had published without permission on the school website, about women’s place in their society that Gilbert knew his father would love. John was smiling, now sipping on his tea and looking happier than Gilbert had seen him in months. Gilbert couldn’t help but stand by the door frame to the kitchen, admiring the scene in front of him without making his presence known, listening to the article he had read at least one hundred times. 

“It’s good, isn’t it?” Gilbert asked his dad when Anne finished, smiling proudly at his best friend. He hadn’t spoken properly to her since their awkward conversation in his car a few days earlier, and didn’t know whether they were fighting or not. He knew she was avoiding him, she hadn’t eaten lunch with them in school and whenever he would approach her she would find an excuse to leave. Jerry had asked him what was going on between them earlier that day, and Gilbert felt bad for not even knowing that himself. Sure, they had a weird moment when discussing Anne’s private life, but whenever weirdness accrued between them they would either talk about it or pretend like it didn’t happen. This time, however, Anne seemed angry. Had he hurt her feelings by asking too many questions about her dating life? Had he said something that she misinterpreted?

Anne smiled at him, saying “thank you” quietly before looking back at John and awaiting his feedback. Gilbert didn’t listen to what his dad was saying, he knew that he would love it just as much as he did. Instead, he was focusing on how to get Anne to talk to him. Sure, she wasn’t giving him the silent treatment and she acted politely enough in front of his father. but that didn’t necessarily mean that she would accept a ride home from him so that they could talk things out (or mutually agree to forget about it). 

Gilbert was brought out of his thoughts by his dad, who must have been finished praising Anne because he was telling him that there was food on the stove for him. 

“Thanks, but I'm not really hungry” he answered distantly and looked over to Anne. 

“I should probably go, unless you need help with anything?” she asked John kindly. 

“No thanks, dear. I’m all good. Do you need a ride?” the older man answered her. 

Anne looked over at Gilbert “I was actually hoping you could walk with me? If you don’t have plans, of course” she said shyly, as if she was nervous. As if she was asking for something that Gilbert hadn’t done countless times before. 

“Yeah, I’ll walk with you, of course I will” Gilbert smiled, relieved. He was surprised that she wasn’t ignoring him and that he didn’t need to try to get her to talk to him, because she was the one who offered. He decided not to question it, though, too afraid of breaking the olive branch she was extending. 

They walked out of the house together, not saying anything after bidding goodbye to John. The awkward silence continued for a couple minutes, Gilbert looking nervously at Anne and Anne staring down at her feet. Gilbert didn’t even know why he was nervous, it was just something about Anne and the situation they were in that made him uncomfortable. Was it because he was jealous? Or because he was realising he still felt  _ something  _ for Anne? Or was he simply afraid she would not want to be friends anymore?

“I’m sorry for avoiding you, since … you know. I just needed a break” Anne said quietly, her eyes still locked on her dr. Martens. 

“A break … from me?” Gilbert cautiously asked. 

“No, I didn't mean it like that” Anne sighed, cursing herself for always putting her foot in it with Gilbert. “I just wanted some space.”

“Okay, did I do something? I didn’t mean to pry, you know.”

“I know that, the conversation just made me realise that I had some things to think about. I know you mean well, Gil.”

“Good. Any of your thoughts you want to share?” Gilbert asked, glad that Anne had been the one to start the conversation. 

“Not right now, maybe some time in the future though” she smiled sadly. 

Gilbert walked closer to her and nudged her shoulder with his “I’m always here when you're ready” he said, after getting her to look up at him. He then continued to walk close to her, their arms brushing against each other with every other step they took. 

“I’ve been dying to ask you, how did you do on that chemistry test? Anne changed the subject and smiled at him. Gilbert could tell that she had gotten a good score and had been looking forward to rubbing it in his face. 

They continued walking, on the surprisingly warm December evening where the snow on the ground had started melting into puddles. Anne was glad they were back to normal, Gilbert wearing his old, worn out jeans and that red winter jacket he loved so much. It was the Gilbert she had gotten to know, the outgoing cool guy to everyone else, but sad and teasing to her. The person who would drop everything in a heartbeat to take care of the people he loved. The one who would bring extra gloves for her because he knew that she always forgot hers at home. The person who didn’t care about what anyone but his friends thought about him. Anne missed that Gilbert. Despite only knowing him for a little more than two years, it felt like they had known each other their entire lives. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to confess her feelings, he would be nice about it even if he didn’t feel the same way...

“Anne, can I ask you something?” Gilbert said suddenly

She hummed as a reply, still lost in her thoughts. 

“Why don’t you feel comfortable talking about other guys with me?”

She wasn’t expecting that “what?”.

He looked at her sincerely, leading them to sit on a bench in the park they were walking by. “I didn’t even know you were seeing someone, much less sleeping with them. Are you uncomfortable about talking about those kinds of things with us?” he asked, avoiding meeting her eyes, aware that he was blushing. 

“What? No, of course not!”

“So it’s just me you don’t want to talk about it with?” He asked sadly and Anne was quiet, how was she supposed to answer that? “Is it because of all the jokes the guys make about me having a crush on you when you first moved her? Cause I-”

“It’s nothing like that, Gil.”  _ lie  _ “It’s nothing personal.”  _ lie  _ “I just happen to prefer talking to Diana about the guy I like, it’s easier.”  _ truth _

“So you do like someone” he sighed. 

“Trust me, it will never develop into anything close to what you and Winnie have” Anne said bitterly. 

“Oh my god, does it bother you when I talk to you about Winnie?”

_ Yes  _ “no, I’m glad you trust me with that.”

“You just give such good advice and we aren’t really getting along right now, she isn’t as understanding about my dad.”

“Yeah, I know. Don’t worry about it” Anne said, looking down at her feet again. 

“You know that you can talk to me right? About anything. These kinds of things might be awkward because of, you know, that crush everyone else brings up but you and I never never talk about, but I swear that I’m over it” Gilbert said, wincing at how he knew that that last part wasn’t 100% true. 

Anne hated it. In that moment she felt like she would give anything to change that  _ ‘felt’  _ to a  _ ‘feel’ _ . Despite her hatred for poor grammar, she wished Gilbert was one of those people who always spoke in present tense. There was no way she could confess after he said that. 

“Could we maybe keep it that way?” Anne asked, trying her best to not show signs of the sadness and disappointment she was feeling. 

“Yeah, that’s probably for the best” Gilbert chuckled. “So, Moody tells me things are going well with Ruby” he changed the subject. 

“Ruby has been gushing over him all week, it’s almost disgusting” Anne rolled her eyes. 

“It’s a little cute, I bet Diana is glad she no longer has to politely decline his advances.”

“It was cute the first 15 minutes, now they make me want to puke. But Diana is over the moon” she laughed. 

“If you think they’re so bad, I should remind you of Bash and Mary when they first got married” Gilbert retorted. 

“Yeah, I went from spending all my free time at your place to not visiting in two months.”

“Now, they were disgusting!” Gilbert laughed. 

“But they were newlyweds, Moody and Ruby are high schoolers who probably will break each other's hearts and we’ll have to pick up their pieces” Anne sighed. 

“Don’t be so negative” Gilbert shook his head,smiling. “That was a suggestion, I’m not telling you what to do” he held his hands up in surrender. 

“You better not” Anne glared at him. “But if I’m being  _ positive _ , I guess there are worse people than you to pick up pieces of a broken heart.”

“That could be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me, Shirley” Gilbert grinned. 

“I’m serious, I wish you were there to pick up my pieces all the times the system broke me” she looked up at him. 

“I wish I could have been there for you” he looked back at her. The lighting wasn’t great, the main light sources being the two streetlights a couple meters down the road from them and the moonlight shining through some of the trees in the park, but Gilbert could have sworn that he saw Anne glance at his lips. 

He loved how easy it was for them, they could just sit down and laugh about their friends on a park bench on a weekday evening. There was no need to plan fancy dates that would look good for instagram, no drama over scheduling conflicts, no confusion about the state of his father. Just the two of them talking, their friendly banter and meaningful conversations. 

Gilbert cleared his throat, “you would be the first person I would go to, if my heart ever got broken” he said, gazing into her eyes. 

Anne smiled and broke the lingering eye contact that was definitely more than friendly. “I would hope so, Moody would probably accidentally break it even more, Jerry would panic in french and Charlie would be all awkward” she laughed, picturing Moody dropping a human heart in the same way he dropped a box of beakers in for their chemistry class sophomore year. 

“Yeah, you’re the obvious option” Gilbert said wistfully, fully aware of the double meaning of his words. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :)


	5. Chapter five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anne runs into Winnie and Gilbert does something stupid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, it's been a while.   
> Instead of spending your time reading this chapter, I honestly think you should head over to Youtube to watch Mimi1239's video "How YOU Can Help Donate to Anne with an E's Project Sea Star!" where all of the adsense money will be donated to Project Sea Star's gofundme. That money will later be donated to the Legacy of Hope Foundation in the name of Anne with an E.   
> Legacy of Hope Foundation are an Indigenous organisation who educate and create an understanding about the residential school system. The same residential school system we saw Ka'kwet in. This chapter can wait, use the time you were planning on spending here to watch the video without skipping the adds, instead. It will be here when you finish and you can read it then, preferably with the video playing in the background on another device. Thank you. 
> 
> Legacy of Hope Foundation website: http://legacyofhope.ca/en_ca/  
> Mimi1239's video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5J0vrTL2cOs&ab_channel=Mimi1239

Snow was quickly filling the paved ground full of melting slush with a fresh, fluffy layer of whiteness. It looked beautifully untouched, just like it must have done four million years ago, before the awful humans excited och caused climate change. At least, that was what Anne thought when she walked through the thin layer of snow on the ground outside the school, ruining the untouched feeling with her black, worn out boots by leaving footprints behind her. It was just so typical, a perfectly beautiful day like this ruined by a couple of rude comments. They weren’t even that bad and shouldn’t have hurt as much as they did. 

It wasn’t as if Anne wasn’t used to the prejudice and gossip in small towns like Avonlea, where everyone had known everyone going back generations. She was aware of the comments, the looks and the whispers from her classmates and their families and honestly didn’t care most of the time, they didn’t say anything she hadn’t heard before or thought herself. She had spent a good portion of her freshman year coming up with witty comebacks for whenever the girls in her class would give her a hard time about hanging out with the boys, something she knows helped her earn the respect of Moody and Charlie. 

Still, there were some things that got through her armour and managed to hurt her. Billy Andrews was the person behind most of those. Her skin got thicker as he went from making barking sounds in her face to spreading false rumours about her, but every now and again something would get through to her. Those were usually remarks of things that actually were true. That she hadn’t been loved prior to meeting the Cuthberts, her freckles and red hair made her stick out like a sore thumb or that she had been too trashy to get the girls to truly accept her. Today though, it was Josie’s words that had injured her, sending her into the depths of despair just before their English class. 

Josie Pye wasn’t as direct in her bullying as her not-so-secret crush, unlike him she wasn’t physically intimidating and therefore had to rely on bitchiness. Her snarky comments were frequent, whereas Billy used all of his energy for bullying all at once and took the rest of the day off. Most times, it was whispering things under her breath, such as “man stealer” and “orphan trash”. It wouldn’t be so bad, if it didn’t happen as often as it did and yet always made other people giggle. It still didn’t occur often enough for the words to lose their meaning though, just the right amount of times to ruin a lesson, but not make her run out of the room crying. Anne had no idea why Josie was still after her, she was on good terms with all the other girls and sometimes actually felt accepted by them. Of course, that feeling usually didn’t last too long. Whether it was a backhanded compliment or a “accidental” bump into her, Josie Pye always seemed to remind her that she wasn’t welcome. 

Today was different though, Anne had been having a regular conversation with Ruby for the first time ever, while they waited for their teacher to arrive, when Josie butted in. They went from talking about how cute Ruby’s hand painted converse were to discussing Moody, something Anne wasn’t comfortable with. When noticing Anne’s reluctance to spill one of her closest friend’s secrets, Josie said an unnecessary comment about how Anne would try to go after him now, since Gilbert had  _ clearly  _ rejected her. Not only did it make Anne’s blood boil because it was absolutely false, that she was planning on pursuing Moody, it made her sad to realise that the Gilbert part of it was true. He had rejected her, even though he might not be aware of it. But clearly, everyone else were. Maybe she hadn’t hidden her feelings for him as well as she had thought, especially if Josie freaking Pye had been able to figure it out. 

After reassuring Ruby, whose eyes were hugh in confusion and disappointment, that it wasn’t true, Anne felt her own eyes watering. Before she knew it, she had stormed out of the classroom, her boots ruining the perfectly untouched snow on the ground with tears falling down her already red cheeks. She didn’t have a plan or even knew where she was heading, she just knew that she needed to get out of that class room. 

By leaving school without her jacket, on a snowy December day, Anne was already freezing by the time she reached the car park. She was lost in her own thoughts when she heard her name being called. Quickly wiping her cheeks with the sleeve of the hoodie she was wearing, which she may or may not have stolen from Jerry, she looked up to see four blonde girls leaning against the only car in the carpark that wasn’t covered in snow, each of them holding lit cigarettes. 

“Heey” she smiled awkwardly and walked over to Winifred and her friends, who were looking at her strangely. 

“Are you okay?” Winnie asked, concerned after noticing her red eyes. 

“Yeah, I just needed some air” Anne lied. 

“Do you want one?” the tallest girl out of all of them asked, holding out her cigarette pack towards Anne even though they had never met before. 

“No thanks.” 

“Do you need anything, Anne? Should I call Gilbert?” Winnie asked, still looking worried. 

“Oh, she knows your boyfriend?” one of the girls asked, and pouted when she was ignored. 

“No, don’t do that. I’m just gonna go. You didn’t see me, in case he asks” Anne smiled, even though she knew the others didn’t buy it. 

“Where are you going? Let me give you a ride, please.” Winifred offered, dropping her cigarette to the ground before stepping on it. 

“I don’t want to bother you, but thanks.”

“It’s no problem at all, we were all going to leave now anyway” she said, gesturing to the other girls, who nodded. “I’m happy to take a detour and drop you off wherever you need to go.”

“You sure?” Anne asked, covering her freezing hands with the sleeves of her hoodie and looked over at the others, to see if they would mind.

“Absolutely, come on” Winnie said and unlocked her car a few meters away. Reluctantly, Anne walked over to it and opened the passenger door before sitting down, thankful to get out of the cold wind outside and into the not-as-cold car. 

  
  


An awkward silence filled the car, Winifred’s long fingernails tapping against the steering wheel to the beat to the pop song playing quietly on the radio in the background. Still, Anne was glad she decided to accept the ride. She had just stopped shivering when Winnie cleared her throat. 

“So, how come you don’t want Gilbert to know you ran out from school?” she asked kindly, keeping her eyes on the road and her lower lip in between her teeth while waiting for an answer. 

“He’ll find out eventually, no need to worry him while he’s in class” Anne shrugged. It wasn’t a big deal. Sure, he always let her know if he would be cutting class, but it wasn’t as if she owed him to do the same. 

“He always talks about how close you two are, you know? I wish I had a friendship like yours” Winnie continued, looking over at Anne for the first time since they left school.

“Yeah, he’s a great friend” she smiled, feeling butterflies in her belly at the thought of him talking about her to other people… his girlfriend. “He talks about you too, I hear you’re quite the nerd, so I gotta say, I was surprised to see you play hookie.”

“I wouldn’t go that far, I just like math, and physics … and maybe chemistry” Winnie laughed. “And that was not a regular thing but Christine, you know - the short one, well, her girlfriend just broke up with her so she felt the need to get out of there.”

“Oh, please tell her I’m sorry” Anne smiled sadly, at Winifred’s nod, she continued. “So, are you planning on doing something within the medical field, like Gilbert?” she asked, looking out through the window. 

Winnie was silent a few seconds before sucking in a breath “I didn’t know that about him, does he want to be a researcher?”

“Doctor, leaning towards paediatrics at the moment” Anne answered by reflex, before turning her head back to Winnie. “I’m sorry, he’s always so vocal about his dreams, I figured he shared them with you too.” Gilbert hadn’t told Winnie he wanted to be a doctor? But he always talked about his hopes and dreams with her, it was their favourite pastime while waiting for Jerry to show up. Aren’t you supposed to talk about those things with your significant other? Did that mean something? Why would he share something so intimate with her but not with his girlfriend?

“He never really talks about the future, I assumed he was one of those people who likes to live in the moment” Winnie thought out loud, creases visible between her perfectly shaped, light brown eyebrows. 

“It’s a heavy subject for him, you know with his dad and all. Don’t take it personally, I just know because of how well he takes care of Moody when he hurts himself” Anne tried to comfort her. It was true that she found out about his dreams the first month she knew him, because he had to help Moody when he fell on some rocks during a field trip to the forest and cut open his leg, but Anne knew it was more than that.

“Yeah, it’s no big deal, we’re mostly just having fun anyways” Winifred shrugged off, biting her lower lip. “What way to your house, left or straight forward?” she asked when they arrived at the intersection. 

“”Left” Anne answered quietly, both of them going back to the awkward silence. 

* * *

It was a reflex, something that sat in his spinal cord, it was as if his body was on autopilot and his legs took him to her without him giving it an extra thought. It didn’t even occur to him to be jealous over the fact that he, apparently, wasn’t the only one who had gotten used to sneaking up to her room. When looking back at the whole thing, he wasn’t even sure if he looked both ways before crossing the road on his way to Green Gables. Somehow though, Gilbert ended up all in one piece, at least physically, sitting on Anne’s bedroom floor. With his back against the closed door, his thighs pressed against his stomach and chest with his arms resting on top of them, his hands hiding his face, he was silently sitting there and processing everything.

At first, Anne didn’t understand what was happening. He showed up the same way he usually did, late at night through the side door and carefully sneaking up the stairs. But instead of sitting down on her bed and taking a bite of whatever late night snack she was having, he closed the door and slid down it. She had seen him break down a few times before, but those always started with him hyperventilating while tears fell from his eyes and often ended with her hugging him tightly as he fell asleep in her bed. It had never been like this though, he hadn’t said a word since he got there and she noticed that he wasn’t even crying. 

She had immediately left the comfort of her bed and her half eaten kit kat to join him on the floor. “Come on, Gil, talk to me” she whispered after a while, drawing circles on his shoulder with her palm. It scared her to see him like this, she knew what he looked like when he was scared, and sad, and angry and this just wasn’t any of those. Had something happened to John? Or Mary and the baby?

“Gilbert, you’re scaring me. What happened?” she tried again after minutes of silence, continuing to stroke his arm comfortingly. 

“Anne … I don’t think I can do all of this anymore. I’m tired” he whispered.

“Do what, Gil?” Was he planning on doing something?

He looked up at her for the first time since he came through the door and as she suspected, his cheeks were dry as bone but his eyes red as a result of his knuckles digging into them. 

“Everything, anything. I don’t want to be with Winifred, I don’t want to need to take care of my sick dad, I don’t want things to be weird between us.” 

Anne didn’t know what to say to that, what had made him feel this way now? Without saying a word, she hugged him. Of course, she knew that he would have a breakdown from the stress coming from his father's situation at some point, but she had no idea it would be like this. What did she and Winifred have to do with anything? She had been so nice to her earlier that day and given her a ride home, and now Gilbert wanted to break up with her? Had she confronted him about not talking about his future with her? 

Her thoughts were cut off when she felt the sleeve of her t-shirt getting damp and hugged her shaking best friend closer to her. “I know, Gil” she finally whispered in his ear, trying to sooth him. “It’s okay, I’m here. I’ve got you” she continued, stroking his hair and holding back her own tears. 

It took a couple of minutes of them sitting there, holding each other and rocking back and forth on Anne’s cold, wooden floor, until Gilbert calmed down and let go. “Please talk to me” Anne said, handing him the half full glass of water on her bedside table. She silently watched him chug it and reached forward to come back his messy hair when he was done. 

He took a deep breath and started, “the doctor said my dad has about a month left” before he reached to take her hand. “and you’re the only one I wanted to see” he continued, voice hoarse from the crying. 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, Gilbert” Anne whispered, feeling a few tears that were too hard for her to keep in, escap and run down her cheeks. It wasn’t a surprise, they both knew how serious John’s illness was. But hearing it like that, from a doctor who actually knew what they were talking about and not just speculating, must have broken him. 

“He won’t meet Bash’s baby. Bash has to go an entire lifetime knowing that his child was so close to meeting the greatest person that has ever lived but missed the opportunity” Gilbert cried. “What if I have kids in the future? They’ll never meet him. How am I supposed to live with that thought? Bash and Mary don’t even need to imagine it, they’ll live through it soon enough.”

“I know, it’s horrible. All of you deserve so much better. But you can still talk about him, tell them about what a great man he is. Even if he's not physically with you, all of you still carry pieces of him with you in everything you do” she tried to comfort, even though she knew he wouldn’t listen. 

“You don’t get it, Anne” he snapped. “Shouldn’t I want to talk to my girlfriend about all of this? Or at least seek some kind of comfort from her?” Gilbert asked, searching for her eyes. 

“All relationships are different, it doesn’t mean that you don’t love her, Gilbert. You’re just not ready to be this vulnerable with her yet, and that’s okay” Anne explained, looking into his hazel eyes and stroking his wrist with the thumb of the hand he was still holdning. 

“You’re the only one I wanted to talk to and you’ve been acting so weird lately” he sighed and closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the door he was still sitting against. Anne was thankful he did, so that he wouldn’t see the panic that washed over her face. His dad was dying and he was worrying about who he wanted to talk about it with? “You think I haven’t noticed, but I obviously have. All those secret looks you shoot Ka’kwet when we all hang out, how awkward you get when I talk about Winnie and that whole thing with the birth control. And I don’t even know why? Did I do something?” he asked sincerely, pain and confusion written all across his features. 

“I’m sorry, you didn’t do anything. I just needed some distance” Anne tried to explain.   
  


“Do you really hate Winifred that much?” Gilbert asked and let go of her hand. 

“What? Of course not? She was actually very kind to me earlier today.”

“So why did you change when she and I got together?” Gilbert asked, ignoring the last part of Anne’s sentence. 

“Our friendship changed, we needed new boundaries but we are still good” Anne reasoned, wiping away the tears that were still slowly falling from her eyes.

“I miss our old friendship” Gilbert whined, earnestly. 

“Well, I like Winnie. I think she’s good for you and that’s the most important thing right now.”

“But, you are good for me” he whispered while looking into her teary eyes, before he placed one of his hands next to Anne’s thigh and leaned in. On impulse, without consciously understanding what was happening, Anne quickly turned her head, making Gilbert’s lips awkwardly land on her cheek. 

“Fuck” he whispered, his head falling back against the door. “I’m so sorry, Anne. Shit! I wasn’t thinking. I am so, so sorry.”

It just then clicked for Anne. Had Gilbert tried to kiss her? Right now? When they were both crying about his dad and he was still in a relationship with Winifred? She didn’t know what to do with that information, but the guy sitting in front of her clearly needed to be comforted, so she sucked her own feelings up and hugged him, without saying anything. He reluctantly hugged her back, not wanting to argue in case this would be the last time he would be receiving this type of comfort from her. How could he have been that stupid? Reading all of her signs and signals wrong, again. He started crying once more, hugging her even tighter and burying his head in the crook of her neck. Anne tried to sush him and was about to whisper “it’s okay” in his ear before she stopped herself. It wasn’t okay. Whatever he meant by that wasn’t okay and even though she could ignore it to take care of her best friend who clearly needed help, she wouldn’t lie to him and say it’s okay. Because it wasn’t. How dare he do something like that in that moment? After everything they had been through...

Instead, she took a deep breath and let go of him. “I don’t think you should walk home like this, you should stay in the guestroom and I can go with you tomorrow” she offered. 

Gilbert unwillingly let go of her too, not even caring to wipe the tears off his face. “I’m sorry, I am so, so sorry, Anne. But please let me stay in here? I’ll even take the floor. I swear I won’t lay a finger on you” he cried, regretting everything. Was she scared of him now? Was she worried? He hated that he made her uncomfortable, that wasn’t his intention. 

Anne failed to hold in the sob in her throat. “That’s not at all what I’m worried about, Gilbert” she croaked out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicating this chapter to the socks, since a couple of you just started reading it. Hope you caught the kit kat reference ;)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. I hope you enjoyed your read, this is based on the song "you belong with me" by Taylor Swift :)


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